Aside from inventing freedom and making wooden teeth cool (again), George Washington’s role in shaping our day-to-day lives is beyond measure. But, I fear our nation’s first president’s prevalence and relevance in daily life may be slipping. It’s a matter of George Washington and the future. One of them has conquered the Delaware River, the British, and that innocent little cherry tree. The other is garage door openers, GPS systems and iPhones.
I think it’s clear that I am not a taker of risks. I am calculated without a grasp for math and as dangerous as a well-caged hamster.
And the likelihood that I will ever challenge a friend or enemy to a game of chicken to the death is inexcitably low.
Ten months out of the year, an octopus should be in an aquarium or in the ocean. But, from mid-April to mid-June, an octopus deserves to be on ice.
This actually happened
“Hey guys. We’ve got a special during the Pistons and Red Wings games. Pints of domestic beers are a buck-fifty,” she says.
“Cool,” I say. “Domestic? Umm…” I look over at the line of taps, trying to make an educated guess at the ornate handles, “I’ll have a Sam Adams, please.”
I instinctively reach for my ID in my back pocket, but she speaks up.
Continue reading “What Qualifies as Domestic”
I’m 23-years-old today. I have a soul patch, but I have gray hair. I drive a new car, but wear old shoes.
I eat cereal from boxes without prizes in the bottom.
I haven’t won the lottery yet. I have a 1 in 100 million some odd chance of bringing home anything bigger than a $2 prize. But I like to dream about what I would do with a million, with a few hundred million — the only time the word “jackpot” is as fun to say as it should be. Continue reading “The Dream is Worth the Dollar”
I grew up with a group of friends that were funny. All of them. No one more than the other, all of them were the funniest.
If you have a switch, I can flip it. You should consider that light as good as turned on. When it comes to illuminating a room, the only thing I do better than flicking from “OFF” to “ON” is yawn or blink.
But all of that lighting hinges on one simple requirement: Continue reading “Flip the Switch”
For those of you just joining us a scant five weeks behind schedule, I highly suggest you spend a bit of time reading this before continuing below.
It’s been 30 days and I’ve come out the other side with a greater understanding of knuckle fatigue and time-management.
Also, I wrote a novel.
Some people challenge themselves by training for a year and then run a marathon. Some may rebuild a car engine, learn a new language or start a small business. The reward is inherent in that challenge and in an effort to maintain my personal nerdiness, avoid undue strain on my knees and keep my hands from getting greasy, I’ve decided to write a book. Continue reading “NaNoWriMo: I’m Writing a Novel”